Had a crazy dream last night lol. I dreamt that the whole world was under attack by flying suppositories, and my ass was the number one target. And I was running for my life and trying to find shelter somewhere. Maybe it’s a sign I have to poop lol
What do you think about my crazy dream? ??
If you have a crazy dream and you would like to share , share it here on CrazyRedders:) I would like to hear all about it.
One fine afternoon at work, this guy I have never met before approached me, He must of been new. He looked to be about 20 or 21 years of age and had ginger written all over him. He looked at me and said, Hi I just wanted to come over and introduce myself, my name is _____. I’m the manager of the housekeeping department. I shook his hand and said nice to meet you, My name is_________. Then he started making small talk with me. I told him well I have to get back to work now, but nice to meet you. He said wait can I take you out sometime? I thought about it for a quick second and said no i’m not interested. He said just give me one chance, one date, that’s all I’m asking for. I thought maybe I was being to harsh about the redhead thing. So I decided to give it a try and take him up on his offer. Besides you can’t know if you like or dislike something unless you try it first. I gave him my number so he could call me later on to discuss date and time.
When date night arrived, he showed up on time to pick me up. When I got in his car, he looked at me and said that he wanted me to pick the restaurant. So I picked this really great Chinese place that I have already been to several times before. He said that sounds great, I love Chinese food. When we arrived, he parked the car and said wait here, I’ll be right back. I said why? He said I want to go inside and see if I get a good vibe, and if I do, then we can eat here then. What the hell has this guy been drinking? Did he really just say that. Wow. I just looked at him and said ok. When he came back he said we can eat here, I got a good vibe. I thought to myself well isn’t that great, I don’t have to starve now because my date got the vibe he was looking for. We proceeded inside and sat down at our table. He started telling me a little about himself. He said I have a Bachelor degree in Business, I still live at home with my parents until I save up enough money to move out. I said that’s great, it sounds like you have a plan and you’re doing great for yourself. Then he looked at me and said you look beautiful. I said thank you, and I also told told him he looked good too, and that I liked his attire for the night. He said thank you, my mom helped me pick out this outfit and she also fixed my hair for tonight. Then he said my mom always picks out my clothes and does my hair for me everyday. I didn’t want to be mean, so I said that it was nice that his mom did that for him. As we were talking some more, I noticed he kept playing with this one spot on his hand. I said is there something wrong with your hand. Out loud he said, no there’s just this big long piece of hair that’s growing on the top of my hand. The table next to us all said eww simultaneously. I was so embarrassed. I asked him why don’t you just cut it off. He said because I like it. Okay this date needs to end now, I thought to myself. Then out of nowhere he stands up, picks up his chair, and walks over to me. He put his chair next to me. He then sat backwards on the chair facing me and just stared at me. There was a silence for a couple of seconds and then he said go ahead and touch it. Touch what I said. My jacket he said. I only let certain people touch it. He had this black leather jacket hanging on the back of the chair. Wow, I should feel honored that I was one of the lucky ones that got to touch the jacket. I touched it just to appease him. Then he went back to his original spot. After the dinner was done he asked me if I was ready to go. I said YES right away without hesitating. When we got to the car he said I’m just going to take you home now, because I don’t like to be out to late. I told him, that was okay, I was ready to go home anyways. He had me home before 10pm on a Saturday night. But on a positive note, at least I wasn’t with him anymore.
Well tell me what you all think about this story? Do you think I handled it well? Also tell me what your crazy date story is. I want to hear all about it 🙂
It was just another normal crazy day. I’m at home making dinner and redding (cleaning) up the house. My daughter just got picked up for her sleepover. All I kept thinking about is what I have planned with my husband later tonight. With no kid and the house all to ourselves, You know what that means. That’s right folks, wild crazy sex night. Just then I heard my husband pull up. Finally he’s home. He had better bring his A game tonight. I got the whole setup, all 50 shades of it. Hey if your going to do it, you gotta do it right.
He walked in the front door, I noticed he was cupping his penis and balls, with a painful look on his face. I said honey what’s wrong? Oh woman you just don’t know what happened to me today he said “in a whiny voice”. You just don’t know he reiterated. Tell me what happened I said to him in the most sincere compassionate way.
A flea bit my dick he said. I looked at him and said, well why did you have it out? You should of kept it in your pants. I didn’t have it out, I got a hole in my pants, and you know I wear the loose boxer underwear and the flea just flew up there and the rest is history.
So I’m guessing no wild crazy sex night then. Woman did you not hear me, A flea bit my dick. I can’t perform under these circumstances. I looked at him and said that’s it, I want proof, drop em. Fine but don’t touch it, it hurts. He dropped his pants and pointed to the spot on his penis were he said the flea had bit him at. I didn’t see a damn thing. But I wasn’t going to tell him that though. I wanted to be a good wife and give him the emotional support he thought he needed.
Oh I see it honey, I told him. What can I do to help you feel better? He said can you get me an ice pack. Sure honey, I’ll go get it right now. I gave him an ice pack and he sat down on the recliner, put one leg over the arm of the chair and applied the ice pack to his penis. Really, what next, is he going to what a Band-Aid for it. Knowing my husband, probably yes. Well if he feels he needs one, then I got some dora the explora ones left 🙂 Who would of thought a flea could swoop in and ruin your plans for wild crazy sex night. Unbelievable. I never seen it coming.
Watch out for them fleas and make sure you get the word out, because we don’t want something like this to happened again. My husband was so traumatized by his encounter with the flea. We got to raise awareness lol
I want to here what all of you think and what you would do if this happened to you. Also if you have story about an insect or any living creature that ruined your night, I would like to hear about it. I want to here all the juicy details.
Don’t forget about the release of penis injury tomorrow 🙂 I will be posting the story at 10 am tomorrow morning:) It’s a must read 🙂
Okay Ladies and Gents, lets get real. What would you do if a flea ruined your plans with your better half ? Where not talking about just any plans here. Where talking about hardcore crazy sex night plans. You know a few smacks, and don’t forget the snacks, pulling of the hair with that hot […]