It was just another normal crazy day. I’m at home making dinner and redding (cleaning) up the house. My daughter just got picked up for her sleepover. All I kept thinking about is what I have planned with my husband later tonight. With no kid and the house all to ourselves, You know what that means. That’s right folks, wild crazy sex night. Just then I heard my husband pull up. Finally he’s home. He had better bring his A game tonight. I got the whole setup, all 50 shades of it. Hey if your going to do it, you gotta do it right.
He walked in the front door, I noticed he was cupping his penis and balls, with a painful look on his face. I said honey what’s wrong? Oh woman you just don’t know what happened to me today he said “in a whiny voice”. You just don’t know he reiterated. Tell me what happened I said to him in the most sincere compassionate way.
A flea bit my dick he said. I looked at him and said, well why did you have it out? You should of kept it in your pants. I didn’t have it out, I got a hole in my pants, and you know I wear the loose boxer underwear and the flea just flew up there and the rest is history.
So I’m guessing no wild crazy sex night then. Woman did you not hear me, A flea bit my dick. I can’t perform under these circumstances. I looked at him and said that’s it, I want proof, drop em. Fine but don’t touch it, it hurts. He dropped his pants and pointed to the spot on his penis were he said the flea had bit him at. I didn’t see a damn thing. But I wasn’t going to tell him that though. I wanted to be a good wife and give him the emotional support he thought he needed.
Oh I see it honey, I told him. What can I do to help you feel better? He said can you get me an ice pack. Sure honey, I’ll go get it right now. I gave him an ice pack and he sat down on the recliner, put one leg over the arm of the chair and applied the ice pack to his penis. Really, what next, is he going to what a Band-Aid for it. Knowing my husband, probably yes. Well if he feels he needs one, then I got some dora the explora ones left 🙂 Who would of thought a flea could swoop in and ruin your plans for wild crazy sex night. Unbelievable. I never seen it coming.
Watch out for them fleas and make sure you get the word out, because we don’t want something like this to happened again. My husband was so traumatized by his encounter with the flea. We got to raise awareness lol
I want to here what all of you think and what you would do if this happened to you. Also if you have story about an insect or any living creature that ruined your night, I would like to hear about it. I want to here all the juicy details.